Author Topic: All the news, that's fit to print...  (Read 775 times)

Captain Shortworth

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Re: All the news, that's fit to print...
« Reply #15 on: April 09, 2019, 12:33:53 PM »
The London Daily Post

Hangman Confirmed

We have been informed today, that since public execution by hanging is once again legal and very much sought after by the criminal justice system, we are to have hangmen again!

Although, according to what was said by the Secretary of State for Justice, Lord Fixby, at a press conference on the matter, we are to have many such individuals, but only one station, or office, of Hangman.

To reduce the risk of vigilante justice against any individual carrying out the final act of law in the Metropolis, from bereaved family and friends, or simply wanton criminals looking to hamper the efforts of the Judiciary, there will be one figure, who will be known as the Hangman, but he will be played by various individuals, each wearing a one of a kind, custom made uniform, see below.

Each person selected, will be the same approximate height and build, and once a pool has been gathered, will be selected randomly through lottery, with even the other hangmen being unaware of who has been chosen.

In an effort to have this figure strike fear into the hearts of criminals and ne'er do wells everywhere, the uniform has been designed to make these cowardly scum rethink their life choices, and turn away from the path of criminality!

Although we still have no confirmation on whom shall be the first to dance the hemp rope jig, when it shall happen, or where, it is clear from this news that the Government will waste no time!

Just so you know, I own a comic book store

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Captain Shortworth

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Re: All the news, that's fit to print...
« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2019, 02:21:47 PM »
The Times
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The Witch on the Loose?
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We are getting reports this morning of a mass poisoning at the house of Lord Whitby, peer of the realm, and successful businessman.

Although there is still some dispute as to the cause of death of the man himself, who appeared to be hosting a party for his high society friends, where the guest of honour was none other than Rose Brockelby, the feted Witch of the East End. AT time of writing, we are still waiting to hear from Her Majesty's Prison Service as to how she could have escaped, or if she had indeed left incarceration.

Witness reports at the time are inconclusive, but we are hearing from numerous sources close to the scene that they were alerted to a commotion as multiple firearms were discharged during the evening. When the intrepid investigators came upon the grounds of Lord Whitby, there were numerous fatalities, far more than could be accounted for by the relatively small number of shots that were fired.

Scotland Yard are yet to make an official statement on the matter, but since almost all of those dead were of high station, and seemed to have died from no obvious external source, the rumours that Brockleby were in attendance will surely continue until it can be disproved with incontrovertible evidence.

More to follow in future editions.
Just so you know, I own a comic book store

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Captain Shortworth

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Re: All the news, that's fit to print...
« Reply #17 on: May 03, 2019, 09:32:54 AM »
The London Daily Post

Peer of the Realm Missing
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With reports still coming in of a mass murder taking place in the most affluent and well regarded districts of the metropolis, casualty lists are yet to be clarified. Our reporter on the scene last night did hear the distressing news that Lord Hasting, Conservative Peer sitting in the House of Lords, and noted philanthropist and criminal justice reformer, has yet to be found.

We can report with some certainty that the host of the gathering, one Lord Whitby, another Conservative Peer and international resource trader, has been identified as having passed away before the authorities arrived on.

Scotland Yard have still yet to put out a statement, but unnamed officers on the scene were quick to point out how they arrived with much alacrity once alarms were raised, but were still unable to detain any culprit. Several members of the household staff and coachmen of the visiting guests have already been detained for questioning, but at present, the mood does not come across as optimistic.

More news, as this story develops, will be published in later editions.
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Captain Shortworth

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Re: All the news, that's fit to print...
« Reply #18 on: May 03, 2019, 03:32:52 PM »
The Illustrated Police News

The Ripper of Riches Strikes Again?

In the midst of chaotic scenes circling the manor house of the right honourable Lord Whitby last night, with dozens dead, and unknown numbers still unaccounted for, could this be the latest attack of London's newest Ripper?

He has been striking at the wealthy heart of the Metropolis for weeks now, tearing apart those he sees as getting fat on the coin of the city while his people starve in rookeries!

Scotland Yard are still restricting access to the charnel house, but since any information could lead to possible arrests, what reason could they have, other than to prevent panic among the keepers of their purse strings?

The Lord of the house is certainly dead, that much is sure, and brave reporters who gained access to the rear yard report splashes of blood and pools of ichor, surely the leavings of the Ripper.

Until they confirm his activities, all that is left is fear of the unknown.

They must act, and allow the papers of note to report on the deaths within!
Just so you know, I own a comic book store

Oh, and write a fiction blog for fun

Captain Shortworth

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Re: All the news, that's fit to print...
« Reply #19 on: June 07, 2019, 12:40:28 PM »
The Times

The Fall of the House of Hastings

Although the master of the house is still missing, with a large and thorough manhunt underway, his home and hearth have crumbled without him. While the Metropolitan Police continue the search for the most likely culprits, including an escaped prisoner, tried and convicted for her part in multiple murders involving the great and good of the city, alongside a coachman who was almost certainly the getaway driver, so far, the search has been fruitless.

While the cause of the collapse of the family mansion has been put down to a conflagration in the wine cellar, how it started, or why the household staff were all absent at the time, remains a mystery. Civic engineers have been tasked with taking apart the wreckage, but since no one has been reported missing, the chances of finding a body remain slim. The chances of finding answers, even slimmer.

Many political heavyweights have come forward to stress their long time affection for the man, even those parliamentarians and Lords who would sit opposite the man on the benches and in the Lords. They speak of his cunning and quick wits, his generous nature, and his dedication to returning London to her rightful place as the shining jewel of Democracy and society in this infected world.

In the days since the fire, solicitors and barristers began parceling up his affairs and concerns, all them somewhat surprised to find that the eldest son of a minor Lord has been bequeathed anything of substance that remained. Hastings, being a land rich Lord with a long family history had a rather attractive parcel of properties and investments, and all of this now rests in the teenage hands of Master Philip Smedlington.

The youngster has spent much of the past six months working a sprawling apprenticeship in various City businesses and law offices, and seems to have caught the eye of Lord Hastings during this time. The Legal documents were amended recently, as previously the Lord had insisted all his goods would be transferred to the state, as long as he remained childless. Without a corpse, there was some legal haranguing, but the young Master had obviously spent his apprenticeship in deep study, and we are assured there is barely a T to cross before the entire portfolio will be transferred.

The Yard are still appealing for witnesses and maintaining an open case, but word is reaching our journalists that people higher up the ladder would prefer that the matter be closed so the city can grieve one of it's finest sons and continue without him, no matter how hard that may seem.
Just so you know, I own a comic book store

Oh, and write a fiction blog for fun