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Messages - The Dan

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The High Rollers

Perda Vlasnik. 'Protein-Baron' of planet Fecundus V, petty despot and exporter of both vegetable and insect protein, filling colonist and soldier provision bars across the galaxy.

Midas Mezcal. Transhuman, part-floral gangster. One of the original Shankle's colonists, genetically engineered to survive via photosynthesis. Nowadays know as the Rum King.

Hi-Fat. Intergalactic butter merchant, gigacorporate executive and supplier of dairy products for the armies of the GCA.

Lady Hel. An eccentric, aesthete claiming to be the actual goddess of the underworld from Norse myth, daughter of Loki. A very new arrival on the galactic stage, she has allegedly gathered a horde of cryogenically frozen mercenaries to serve her whims.

Vordak the Annihilator, Flayer of Souls. An insane alien criminal of the telekine species, who utilises mental powers. A torturer for hire, it is rumoured.

"Mister Sparkles" Obscure alien made from living diamond, trader in conflict gemstones are other booty looted from a hundred wars. 

STRONTIUM DOGS / Re: The Bounty Hunters Guide to the Galaxy
« on: April 07, 2018, 04:45:05 PM »
The Dark Nebula

Secretive home of the legendary 'Sorcerers of Lyra', the Dark Nebula is officially off-limits to all space traffic. This ban is enforced not by the Galactic Authorities or even the Sorcerers of Lyra themselves - it is a product of fear, superstition and the rumours of strange spatial and temporal anomalies that afflict Lyran space.
Whole parsecs no longer occupy normal space: Spells have caused the nature of space/time to completely collapse, leading to a merging of several dimensions into a single, chaotic region where no laws of conventional physics are possible and the powers or creation are unfettered. This area of space is known as the Entropy Collision.

On the fringes of the Dark Nebula, close to where Lyra borders with the rest of the galaxy, are the Tomb Libraries – whole worlds given over to the storage of the sorcerers’ grimoires and codices. Protected by a vast array of spells, these worlds support continent-sized libraries where entire orders of sorcerers spend their life researching and developing spells that are put to use by all practicing sorcerers in the Dark Nebula.

Beyond the Tomb Libraries lays a deeper blackness, the Womb of Night. A black hole spiralled by shattered planets and captured comets, by the wrecks of broken cathedral ships and gothic spires of orbital spell-stations. Space debris from across the nebula is thrown towards the Womb's event horizon, sacrifices to the infinite destructive power.

Some rumours say it is a gateway to other dimensions, to ruptured timelines and parrallel worlds that should never have existed. Only one things for sure - no one comes back.

Tequila City Rent-a-Cops

Corporate security forces in Tequila City focus on keeping the city-continent's supply of booze flowing for their corporate masters - with a healthy dose of corruption on the side. Nevertheless, there are a few good eggs... are these two some of them?

Detective Shandy Michelada and Copbot DN-0

STRONTIUM DOGS / Game Cancelled - 20/03/18
« on: March 20, 2018, 09:23:00 AM »
Sadly no game tonight for our Strontium Dogs...  :(
Work in the way for both myself and Alex.

See you next week.

Funkmaster Flash and the Furious Five!

Enforcers for the mysterious Madame Lambrusco
Consumers of 90% of the galaxy's neon cargo pants)

Funkmaster Flash
Retro-futuristic laser aficionado
Leader of the Furious Five

Jack the Rapper [Deceased]
Duellist, Gentleman Gangsta

Stoop Droogie
Bio-engineered martial artist
Loves a bit o' the old ultraviolence.
Armed with a katana and gun called "Mister Funkytime"

MC Pounder
Neon bodybuilder
Expert in the Wolrog Combat-Theramin
Actually a rather posh young man with a degree in musical theatre

GG Gangstalicious
Professional Gladiator
Sweet transexual from Transylvania


Doctor Draino
Insane drug lord and occultist

STRONTIUM DOGS / Re: Propaganda and Other Images
« on: March 04, 2018, 08:42:14 PM »
The arsenal of the Furious Five!

Piggins' "Ticking Stick"
A baconian heavy blaster

Jack the Rapper's Antique Duelling Lasers
Gaudy and entirely impractical

Stoop Droogie's Gun - AKA "Mister Funkytime"
Smart revolver, with a smart mouth

Funkmaster Flash's Old Skool Laser Pistols
Set phasers to Maximum Funk

MC Pounder's Flaming Wolrog War-Theramin

STRONTIUM DOGS / Re: Propaganda and Other Images
« on: March 04, 2018, 08:29:49 PM »
Named 'Thor' and 'Loki'

An aloof Baconian Major Domo

STRONTIUM DOGS / Re: Propaganda and Other Images
« on: March 04, 2018, 08:21:24 PM »
A small but valiant medibot

STRONTIUM DOGS / Re: Soundtrack and Trailers
« on: March 04, 2018, 06:58:10 PM »
Err, a rather 'interesting' week musically, last week...

Gangster's Paradise, Coolio
Bad, Michael Jackson
Here Comes the Hammer, MC Hammer
Sweet Transvestite, from The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Weapon of Choice, Fatboy Slim
Black Sabbath, Black Sabbath

STRONTIUM DOGS / Re: Propaganda and Other Images
« on: February 19, 2018, 05:50:34 PM »
High-Tech 'Grav-Ekranoplans' of Tequila City

Your boat does not look like these boats.
Your boat looks like this:

The Occupational Hazard

Avon Villas Compound 7

STRONTIUM DOGS / Re: Soundtrack and Trailers
« on: February 12, 2018, 08:03:59 PM »
Welcome to Tequila City....

Paradise City, Guns n' Roses
Tequila, the Champs

STRONTIUM DOGS / Re: The Roll of Honour and Infamy (Dramatis Personae)
« on: February 11, 2018, 07:46:21 PM »
Meanwhile in Tequila City....

Jon 'The Don' Tubson
Owner of Crocket's Casino
...and two robot alligators

Vanilla Slice
Albino Amazon S/D Agent
Jon The Don's Bodyguard

Ivan Smirnof
Owner/Manager of Traditional Russian Family Mutel

STRONTIUM DOGS / Re: Propaganda and Other Images
« on: February 11, 2018, 07:35:48 PM »
Tequila City

Crocket's Casino

Sonny & Rico
Jon the Don's robot alligators


STRONTIUM DOGS / Re: Propaganda and Other Images
« on: February 11, 2018, 07:10:32 PM »
Decommissioned Starliner Michael Bay.

STRONTIUM DOGS / Re: The Bounty Hunters Guide to the Galaxy
« on: February 11, 2018, 07:05:57 PM »
There's a legend shared by criminals, anarchists and sociopaths, by the extremely rich and by those without any hope left at all, of a place where all the laws of civilisation and human decency and swept aside in an orgy of anarchy and violence, pleasure and despair, and revelling in the inevitable entropy that destroys whole planets, wipes out whole species, and which will one day consume the universe in fire. The call it


Entropartyists believe that no matter what the living may do, at some point everything will come to an end, and the universe will burn. Nothing is meant to last, no matter how stable or well-made it may seem. According to them, entropy should be embraced with open arms and the end brought about as swiftly (and enjoyably) as possible.

The Entroparty is held intermittently, and never in the same place twice. It always takes place in some great symbol of death and destruction, and the venue rarely survives the entertainment: Sometimes it is a planet being torn apart by volcanic activity, or a flaming asteroid colliding with the sun, or in the midst of the Killing or a Feud World's war. This year, its reputed to take place on an ageing starliner, the Michael Bay.Where it's heading, no one knows. May Jerboos or Utopia, or somewhere equally vile?

The Entroparty is said to attract three kinds of people: Sociopaths and madmen in search of a venue to indulge their whims, the jaded super-rich in search of a thrill, and people with nothing left to lose. Every party is uniquely different, but there are usually elaborate and dangerous games, copious amounts of drugs and alcohol, and lethal brinksmanship about exactly how and when the party will be destroyed, and when the party will degenerate into a desperate mob trying to survive and escape.... Last time, for example, the party was held on the Bacconian homeworld, while it was under nuclear bombardment by the invading Wolrog fleet.

Despite its secrecy, rumours abound in the underworld about the Entroparty, and the celebrities and tycoons who secretly attend. It is as prestigious as it is dangerous: Very.

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